My daughter is about to turn four, and I find myself caught between two emotions that seem to exist side by side every year: happiness & sadness. It always feels so bittersweet.
The happiness is easy to explain. Birthdays are magical. There is the excitement of planning a party or activities, choosing the cake, wrapping presents you know they’ll love, and creating memories that light up their faces. Watching your child count down the days, talk endlessly about their special day, and wake up bursting with excitement is one of the greatest joys of parenthood.
As parents, we pour our hearts into making birthdays special because seeing our children happy makes us happy too.
But alongside all that joy is a quiet sadness.
Another year has passed.
It feels impossible that four years have gone by since I held my tiny baby in my arms for the first time. So many years since those sleepless nights, first smiles, first years, first wobbly steps. Somehow, the days felt long, but the years have flown by.
Every birthday feels like a reminder that time doesn’t slow down.
With each candle added to the cake, I find myself celebrating who my daughter is becoming while also mourning a little piece of who she was. The baby who needed me for everything is slowly disappearing replaced by a more independent, more confident and more funny little girl.
Of course, this is exactly what we want as parents. We want our baby’s to grow, learn, and thrive. We want them to become their own people.
But no one really prepares you for the bittersweet feeling of watching it happens.
One moment you’re rocking them to sleep, and the next they’re telling you they can do it themselves.
One moment they’re taking their first steps, and the next they’re running ahead of you.
One moment they’re your baby, and before you know it, they’re another year older.
As my daughter turns four, I’m choosing to hold space for both emotions. The excitement and the sadness. The gratitude and the nostalgia.
Because motherhood is often like that. It’s celebrating who they are becoming while quietly missing who they use to be.
So this year, I’ll be soaking up every moment. The birthday cake, the laughter, the excitement over presents, the endless smiles.
Because if there’s one thing that motherhood has taught me, it’s time moves too quickly.
And while I’ll always miss the little girl she was, I can’t wait to see the amazing person she’s becoming.
Happy Birthday to my sweet girl. You’ll always be my baby, no matter how many candles are on your cake.
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